Day 13: Note to self...

Buying books to read about getting healthy and losing weight doesn't actually make you get healthy and lose weight. Especially if you're not doing anything else...UGH!

It's only Day 13 and I'm feeling the quittin' vibes, I tell you. I am so impatient! I'm displaying signs of insanity again, people! Slap some fat, dirty common sense into me. If you're doing nothing (or pretty close to nothing) you can NOT expect fantastic results.

Okay, let's put a positive spin on this. Let's find the frickin' silver lining to this craptastic "diet" of mine. So I haven't lost weight. I can't tell you for sure because my fear of the scale actually prevented me from getting on the scale before I started. But let's say that I did and didn't lose any weight. Still choosing healthier options and getting 1 SOLID hour of cardio two times a week and doing 15 minutes of cardio twice a day for 13 days would still mean that logically, I probably haven't GAINED any weight. So maybe I'm not losing, but at least I'm not gaining is what I'm trying to say. It's not the brightest silver lining, but it's something and let's go with that. My visitor is here with her monthly gift and I'm not the most...pleasant person in normal circumstances, so imagine me now...but BONUS, I did notice that I am less of a bitch this time around than I normally am. You may not care, but my husband sure is thankful.

Anyway, considering that I feel like I'm putting some work into this, I've decided on a few things. First is this:

*wince* That was taken this morning. I had a picture of me actually standing on a scale, but that number AND the state of my feet would be a double shame. So stickin' to one shameful admission today, there is my OFFICIAL weigh-in...weigh in...weigh-in? Is that hyphenated or not?! And yes, it's a Weight Watcher's scale...I have no idea why I got it instead of the other ones...I must be a sucker for "brand" names. But this one tells me that I'm fat in MULTIPLE ways. Weight, body mass index, body fat and hydration, both in pounds and in percentage based on my height, age and gender. It scrolls through each of the readings one by one after you step on the scale...so that by the last number, you're already searching for a chocolate bar to cure the sudden onset of depression. Beside those numbers should be a little red button that says "SELF DESTRUCT" on it.

So that was decision one. I'm puttin' it out there. This is not an imaginary weight loss...weight-loss....weigh loss...wtf, why can't I tell if these are supposed to be hyphenated. Maybe I lose hyphenation knowledge with each calorie I burn...because I can't tell ya. Let's refer to it as WL. This is not imaginary WL, or a blog to poke fun at it. I'm serious and I want to be serious about this (in a still light and humorous kind of way because I'm boring when I take myself seriously). I'm putting some effort into this and I don't want it to be wasted because I'm still half-assing everything else. Sweating and gasping for air in front of other skinnier people lunging and shimmying better than me is NOT my idea of fun. I want it to mean something and I think that I undermine that with my pretty lax goals. So now that I've been into this for about two weeks and have got the hang of my original goals, I'd like to step it up a notch. Just a little bit...the commitment-phobe in me is already reeling and back-pedaling (holy hyphenated words in this entry!) So here we go, tiny goals to add to my existing goals:

1. No more alcohol. I'm no fun drunk anyways, so let's nix it. That means no more dacquiris! I wonder if that means I can have non-alcoholic ones...let's nix that too, if I'm trying to cut out juice, I doubt a dacquiri albeit non-alcohol is any better.
2. Less burgers and red meat, less deep fried garbage - just because the old goals still allowed for fast food, it doesn't mean I should still be having it so often!
3. Eat more fruits and vegetables - I feel like my food options are so few on diets and it's because I still don't eat fruits and vegetables.
4. Get some fiber. This girl REALLY needs it and apparently it's supposed to do wonders for other movements as well...let's get on that.
5. Step up my cardio. It doesn't have to be by too much right away, but I want to be doing at LEAST half an hour of cardio EVERY DAY. Start thinking about muscle toning exercise...who wants to lose weight if the extra flab is just going to end up flapping against other body parts?

So it's out there. I'm accountable. I'm doing it. I'm doing it already. I'm going to do it better. I'm going to keep at it. Get back, Day 13 laziness, I'm going to keep going!

P.S. For breakfast I had one egg cooked in my microwave egg cooker (I LOVE that thing!), forgot to eat my morning snack, hence hunger pangs close to lunch-hour. For lunch I went out with a co-worker and ordered a California salad (didn't eat the California part about the salad - artichokes and hearts of palm should just NOT be in a salad), my server gave me ranch instead of the balsamic that I asked for and by time I realized the mistake I already had ranch taste in my mouth and it was too late to stop because it was DELICIOUS! Ate only HALF the salad (to be fair, the portions were HUGE though) and for afternoon snack I had non-fat yogurt and cereal. Dinner after kickboxing consisted of CONFESSION: two Grill 'Ems (cheese-filled sausage...bad, but it was SO GOOD, argh! and a garden salad, this time with balsamic dressing).

WORKING OUT TO:

Temperature - Sean Paul