Day 15: Wanting is needing...

...even though I got a Wii Fit the LAST time I went on a "I need to lose weight" splurge; even though I got a gym membership and promised my husband that this time around, I was going to go EVERY DAY I mean, how couldn't I when the gym was just right around the corner from our place (didn't even see the inside of that gym after I signed up for at least four months); and even though I just bought a trampoline and weights because I was totally convinced that this fun little jumpy thing would TOTALLY keep me coming back for more; and even though I JUST bought the new EA Active for the Wii which I still haven't even had a chance to try out (oh, more on THAT later!) I'm convinced that I need an iPod to be able to work out effectively.

I must have the most EXTREME-EST form of procrastination. Don't blame me, I think it's a disease. Instead of just GETTING DOWN to business already, I keep thinking I need all of these things BEFORE I can really start working out and losing weight. UGH! I was like that when I started my crafting addiction hobby. I would be crafting along just fine and then hear about another tool or embellishment or whatever must-have and all of a sudden become CONVINCED that I wouldn't be at the full height of my crafting potential without that certain object. It's a sickness, I'm telling you.

Honestly, I have three MP3 players, two of which are iPod knock-offs. I can easily just use any one of them. Load 'em with songs and go, right!? What's wrong with me then? Why do I think that an iPod is all of a sudden going to make me into the Lance freakin' Armstrong of the marathon world? Like I'll be able to go 5k without breaking a sweat, if and only if I have an iPod. Apple must have some crazy kind of subliminal message going in the background of their commercials. I'm also convinced I need an iPhone, although I can't really tell you why.

The thing with me is that once some idea is stuck in my head, it doesn't normally go away until I HAVE what I've been obsessing over. It's a very expensive sickness, I'm telling you.

Anywho, here's something that'll take my mind off of this iPod insanity (I'm typing this as a person walks by me playing with their hot pink iPod Nano *whimpers*) the EA Active for the Wii! I have no idea how it is because I couldn't play mine! I woke up extra early this morning (that is a miracle upong itself, I tell you!) and got all dressed up to get sweaty and slid the game into the Wii and...NOTHING. Stupid thing wouldn't even LOAD! I tried loading other games I had and they were working fine, but stick in the Active game and nada!

So after much troubles returning the thing for an exchange, I finally have a new copy and hopefully this one will work out much better.

I've finished logging my meals for today and according to my caloric consumption, I'm not eating enough calories. It's so weird, and I thought burning more calories than you eat was the way to lose weight! According to My Fitness Pal, it's a no, no, here's why:

Based on your total calories consumed for today, you are eating too few calories. Not only is it difficult to receive adequate nutrition at these calorie levels, but you could also be putting your body into starvation mode. Starvation mode lowers your metabolism and makes weight loss more difficult. We suggest increasing your calorie consumption to 1,200 calories per day minimum.

How awesome is that? Maybe going to the extreme the other way isn't good for the body either...it kind of makes sense, though, right? The whole starvation thing? Huh...who woulda thunk it.

The breakdown for today's meal goes like this:

Breakfast
5 pieces each of diced honeydew and canteloupe
Astro Zero Yogurt
1/4 cup of Post Honey Bunches of Oats cereal to mix with the yogurt

Snack
I forgot! Oops...

Lunch
6" ham sandwich on 9 grain honey oat bread from Subway (no cheese! couldn't even tell it wasn't there!)
2 tbsp light mayonnaise
2 tbsp sub sauce

Snack
1 cup of baby carrots
2 tbsp Bolthouse creamy yogurt ranch dressing for dip

Dinner
Stouffer's Lean Cuisine Steak & Mushroom Panini

Water
Boo, only 3 glasses as opposed to yesterday's 6. Just wasn't feeling it today with the water...*sighs* It didn't stop me from having to go every 15 minutes, it felt like. I thought my co-workers were going to just lock me in the bathroom after the last time I went!

With calories to spare, at least this way, if I get hungry later on, I won't feel too guilty grabbing a snack! Although I was hoping to not be eating or snacking after 8 pm, we'll wait and see how it goes! The bonus so far, no confessions to make!

WORKING OUT TO:

1, 2 Step (Feat. Missy Elliott) - Ciara

Day 14: Two weeks ago today...

...I was pushed to my limit. I couldn't take anymore...couldn't go one more day being the same weight, eating the same crappy food and getting sick every other week or so. So I decided that it was time to not only try to lose weight, but to get HEALTHY - plus my pants kept falling down.

I can see how you'd be thinking, "Why would you be trying to lose weight if your pants keep falling down?" and it's because my stomach kept pushing it down! *LOL* I kid you not, my pants...my underwear...anything I wear around that area kept getting pushed right down, or rolling down because of my stomach. UGH! I was getting tired of pulling up my pants, sitting down and having my stomach flop the pants right on over and I'd have to get up again and pull my pants back up. So no more!

So apparently, I can't stifle the need to keep buying fitness-y things. As if this stuff that I'm buying would actually make me lose weight (it would - if I used it!) I can really see Bart trying to bite his tongue when I came in with yet another bag...whatever, he's the one who suggested separate bank accounts! *LOL*

I have been hearing nothing but good reviews about this, so I'm very excited to try it out. Maybe it'll be the one in a million fitness-y things that I buy that will really get me this commitmentphobe to really settle down with a fitness solution. I highly doubt it because that's what I said about the Wii Fit and the Wii Dance Dance Revolution and the trampoline and the weights and the books...*LOL* To be fair, I still hop on the trampoline every time I walk by it so it still gets my heart rate up. So I'll give that a try tomorrow morning and I'll definitely let you know what's what!

I'd like to introduce you to my breakfast.

If I had to give a review, I'll have you know that I'll be a raving lunatic about this microwave egg cooker. It's So.Freakin'.AWESOME! I don't know how I lived this long without one. My coworker gave it to me so I have no idea who it's made by or where you could get them. Google it, maybe? Awesome, awesome! So that's my delicious poached egg in there, with a little bit of salt and pepper! Mmmm!

..and this is snack time! Stopped off at the grocery store before work to pick up these packages. I passed on the regular veggie dip and picked up this creamy yogurt dip in ranch. It's not too bad...gets the veggies down the trap, I guess. And behind the snacks is the piles of paperwork waiting to be worked on...*LOL* I mean...*coughs* Paperwork that I am DILIGENTLY working on!

I stayed pretty good during dinner as well, went over to subway and had a 6" sub (instead of my usual footlong) with light mayo. I did get cheese on it though...which I didn't really taste, so next go around, I think I'll try to see if I can tell the difference if there's no cheese at all. For lunch, my mom and I just drove back to her place and ate porkchops in soy sauce and rice (which was SO good_ but I tried to be better and drastically limited my portions based on how much I usually would have had, so I left there feeling pretty good about it.

Exercise was a bit harder for me to come by today. It not being a gym day, I really had to push myself to get some activity. My coworker was going to a coffee shop around the block and I offered to walk with her on my break, so I was able to walk for fifteen minutes this morning and I got to go on the trampline for a few minutes on my afternoon break. Took my puppy Chewy out for a walk when I got home (I made a deal with myself that I wouldn't be able to eat my sandwhich until all of Chewy's needs were taken care of first) so this way, I didn't sit down to eat and then not walk Chewy because I didn't feel like going out again after I ate.

For someone who's supposedly going to run a 5k marathon in October...Chewy and I didn't even make it halfway around the block running, and I wish I could blame it on the pooch. Ugh. Ah well, gotta start somewhere right?

WORKING OUT TO:

So What - Pink

coming up for air

*waving* it's the missing half of the diet blog here!

i have been frantically busy and not had much time to update...it is also too depressing to update as my update does NOT include a weight loss *BLAH*

according to Cat we are nearing week 2 end i think.......well i AM drinking water. not the recommended daily amount but ANY water is more than normal. the drawback is that now when i DON'T drink water i FEEL thirsty, like really thirsty - what a pain HAHHAHAH!

unlike Cat i am doing weight watchers, which is really easy IF you actually enter your food and track your points, which is where i struggle because i don't take time to enter the food. the bags of mini chocolates sitting on the counter from one of my magazine projects is not helping either.....can't SOMEONE in this house eat those besides me???????

pezzy has been on an instant oatmeal kick lately so i got some for both of us - low sugar for her and weight control for me. thats right they make weight control oatmeal. it tastes.....really really bad. OMGOSH really bad. the worst part - pezzy's oatmeal is actually a better deal AND tastes like normal friggin oatmeal. weird right?

so i do enjoy weight watchers when i am doing it all the way because it's like a challenge. everything is based on points so the daily challenge is to eat foods that fill you up using the least amount of points possible. so it is almost like a game and a treasure hunt. so i eat a 3 point breakfast and a 4 point lunch.......and then blow it with two *chocolate mountains* (hershey's kisses) which probably use up the rest of my points for the day. *sigh*

i have yet to order anything *skinny* at starbucks....luckily i am rarely near a starbucks these days....

exercise
huh? i was gonna exercise? i always forget about that....does planting a vegetable garden in 120% humidity count for anything? i felt like i was gonna friggin die both days when i finally came back inside so that makes it count right? exercise = i think i am gonna friggin die.........ok so maybe not. walking with pezzy is not working because the child refuses to ride in anything so the walk is painfully slow and i am pretty sure it is not burning much! we have a home gym downstairs but not the free daycare to go with it :P what would really help me is a schedule!

so i start the day again today planning on sticking with it and entering all my food on my tracker.

and now i am off to work on my stamps!

cheers!
M

Day 13: Note to self...

Buying books to read about getting healthy and losing weight doesn't actually make you get healthy and lose weight. Especially if you're not doing anything else...UGH!

It's only Day 13 and I'm feeling the quittin' vibes, I tell you. I am so impatient! I'm displaying signs of insanity again, people! Slap some fat, dirty common sense into me. If you're doing nothing (or pretty close to nothing) you can NOT expect fantastic results.

Okay, let's put a positive spin on this. Let's find the frickin' silver lining to this craptastic "diet" of mine. So I haven't lost weight. I can't tell you for sure because my fear of the scale actually prevented me from getting on the scale before I started. But let's say that I did and didn't lose any weight. Still choosing healthier options and getting 1 SOLID hour of cardio two times a week and doing 15 minutes of cardio twice a day for 13 days would still mean that logically, I probably haven't GAINED any weight. So maybe I'm not losing, but at least I'm not gaining is what I'm trying to say. It's not the brightest silver lining, but it's something and let's go with that. My visitor is here with her monthly gift and I'm not the most...pleasant person in normal circumstances, so imagine me now...but BONUS, I did notice that I am less of a bitch this time around than I normally am. You may not care, but my husband sure is thankful.

Anyway, considering that I feel like I'm putting some work into this, I've decided on a few things. First is this:

*wince* That was taken this morning. I had a picture of me actually standing on a scale, but that number AND the state of my feet would be a double shame. So stickin' to one shameful admission today, there is my OFFICIAL weigh-in...weigh in...weigh-in? Is that hyphenated or not?! And yes, it's a Weight Watcher's scale...I have no idea why I got it instead of the other ones...I must be a sucker for "brand" names. But this one tells me that I'm fat in MULTIPLE ways. Weight, body mass index, body fat and hydration, both in pounds and in percentage based on my height, age and gender. It scrolls through each of the readings one by one after you step on the scale...so that by the last number, you're already searching for a chocolate bar to cure the sudden onset of depression. Beside those numbers should be a little red button that says "SELF DESTRUCT" on it.

So that was decision one. I'm puttin' it out there. This is not an imaginary weight loss...weight-loss....weigh loss...wtf, why can't I tell if these are supposed to be hyphenated. Maybe I lose hyphenation knowledge with each calorie I burn...because I can't tell ya. Let's refer to it as WL. This is not imaginary WL, or a blog to poke fun at it. I'm serious and I want to be serious about this (in a still light and humorous kind of way because I'm boring when I take myself seriously). I'm putting some effort into this and I don't want it to be wasted because I'm still half-assing everything else. Sweating and gasping for air in front of other skinnier people lunging and shimmying better than me is NOT my idea of fun. I want it to mean something and I think that I undermine that with my pretty lax goals. So now that I've been into this for about two weeks and have got the hang of my original goals, I'd like to step it up a notch. Just a little bit...the commitment-phobe in me is already reeling and back-pedaling (holy hyphenated words in this entry!) So here we go, tiny goals to add to my existing goals:

1. No more alcohol. I'm no fun drunk anyways, so let's nix it. That means no more dacquiris! I wonder if that means I can have non-alcoholic ones...let's nix that too, if I'm trying to cut out juice, I doubt a dacquiri albeit non-alcohol is any better.
2. Less burgers and red meat, less deep fried garbage - just because the old goals still allowed for fast food, it doesn't mean I should still be having it so often!
3. Eat more fruits and vegetables - I feel like my food options are so few on diets and it's because I still don't eat fruits and vegetables.
4. Get some fiber. This girl REALLY needs it and apparently it's supposed to do wonders for other movements as well...let's get on that.
5. Step up my cardio. It doesn't have to be by too much right away, but I want to be doing at LEAST half an hour of cardio EVERY DAY. Start thinking about muscle toning exercise...who wants to lose weight if the extra flab is just going to end up flapping against other body parts?

So it's out there. I'm accountable. I'm doing it. I'm doing it already. I'm going to do it better. I'm going to keep at it. Get back, Day 13 laziness, I'm going to keep going!

P.S. For breakfast I had one egg cooked in my microwave egg cooker (I LOVE that thing!), forgot to eat my morning snack, hence hunger pangs close to lunch-hour. For lunch I went out with a co-worker and ordered a California salad (didn't eat the California part about the salad - artichokes and hearts of palm should just NOT be in a salad), my server gave me ranch instead of the balsamic that I asked for and by time I realized the mistake I already had ranch taste in my mouth and it was too late to stop because it was DELICIOUS! Ate only HALF the salad (to be fair, the portions were HUGE though) and for afternoon snack I had non-fat yogurt and cereal. Dinner after kickboxing consisted of CONFESSION: two Grill 'Ems (cheese-filled sausage...bad, but it was SO GOOD, argh! and a garden salad, this time with balsamic dressing).

WORKING OUT TO:

Temperature - Sean Paul

Day 12: Exceptions to the rules...

CONFESSION: I went into this evening fully intending to laugh in the face of the "diet."

There are certain things, I believe, that must relax the embarrassingly lax rules of this three-step diet...and chicken wings is one of them. Ah-ah-ah, hungry ones...not just ANY chicken wings, because that would be too easy! $0.49 chicken wings! I mean, when a big ol' chicken wing is half a dollar, you can't go wrong and therefore should not count at such a time as ridiculous as dieting.

Anywho, that's what I was telling myself the WHOLE day and all throughout Zumba class. I was shimmyin' and shakin' and thinkin' about wings! You know what? It's an awesome focus during an exercise! Because I was planning on eating wings, I was really pumping myself up! When I started feeling tired, my stomach said, "Oh no you don't...you have to give 'er even MORE because we're eating wings tonight, baby!" So push a little harder I did! I worked out MORE in anticipation of the delicious sin I was about to commit right after.

But alas, it was not meant to be. We get to the restaurant, my face all flushed with excitement (or sweat) and my breath coming in quick bursts of anxiety (or probably my lungs struggling and gasping for more air) only to be told that the server made a mistake. When she told us last week that THIS week would be the last week of wings, she was WRONG! *gasp* No wings?! I shimmied and shook every fat cell in my body just to be able to have wings and now you're telling me I CAN'T? UGH!

Everyone kind of stared at me while I had a little breakdown/temper trantrum...I think a foot was even stomped at one point. Everyone was like...why don't you just get the wings anyway, and I turned bugged out eyes at them and was like...when a chicken wing is MORE than a dollar each, OBVIOUSLY it has TONS of fat and calories in it! *mutters* morons... So obviously I couldn't have regular priced wings and instead ended up with this:

Cajun crusted salmon on a bed of rice. So even though I set out to be a very bad girl tonight, I guess I should feel kind of proud...the side choice originally offered with this dish was fries, mashed potatoes or rice and I chose rice. If you don't know how big a deal that is, consider that everyone who is close to me or knows me even a little knows that I would sell my first-born for mashed potatoes. If you don't think that's comparative since I don't have a first-born...I'd probably sell Bart to get a bowl of mashed potatoes. *LOL* Even Bart's dad knows that...during our wedding speech, he started off with how much he knows I love Bart, but he's not sure if I love mashed potatoes more...

Besides that nonexistent indiscretion, today went pretty well. I had two poached eggs on toast for breakfast, a yogurt with fresh raspberries and cereal for lunch and a 100 calorie snack bag of popcorn. Right before my break, I wrote an angry letter to our union president which in turn helped me to go a full seven minutes on the trampoline on my break. Rage is such an AWESOME motivator I tell you. I can run on rage for a long time...I remember one time, I got in a HUGE fight with my mom before going to the gym and I ran on the treadmill for like, almost an hour. I was so busy going over different scenarios in my head of what I should have said and laughing at the cool, witty comments I thought of AFTER the fact that I didn't even realize how long I was running for. I wonder who I could try to get to piss me off every single time I need to do some cardio...anywho, was a little lax on the water department and started kind of late and only ended up with three tall glasses of water at work and half of the water in my bottle at the gym. Oh one other little baddy...also had a strawberry mango dacquiri with dinner. CONFESSION: I don't even feel guilty about that. I'm such a light-weight that a sip of this and that could make me feel weak in the knees and woozy. I downed the glass I had so fast and felt NOTHING which leads me to believe their rum bottles are full of WATER. Therefore if there was no alcohol in my drink, it doesn't really count as a confessionable sin. UGH, CONFESSION: I ate a Cadbury Moments chocolate bar before I went to Zumba class...would you believe me if I said it was for energy?

Bah! I'll try to up it up tomorrow...I think I've got a visitor on the way which is probably why I've been feeling yuckier than normal...excuses, excuses...

WORKING OUT TO:

Thats What You Get - Paramore

Letters I'll Never Send: Part I

Dear Bladder,
Control yourself, for crying out loud! You do NOT need to make yourself known every five minutes. Attention hog...there are disorders for your type of attitude.

Sincerely,
The toilet ring mark on the back of my thighs

Dear Infomercial Control Underwear,
You are totally NOT what you were advertised to be. I should have known...when an infomercial advertises that you hide bulges and bumps and the models are SKINNY people to begin with...what should I have expected? Although I do have to say that you weren't all lies...you did flatten out my belly somewhat...but you pushed everything all upwards so it looks like I've got four boobs. Your informercial didn't advertise that!

Sincerely,
The quadruple boobs

Dear Chin,
Why are there two of you everytime I look at myself in the mirror or see pictures of myself? It's like when I've had too much to drink and end up with double vision...

Sincerely,
Unfortunately Sober

Dear Mirror Manufacturers,
You've seriously got to do something about your craftsmanship. It seems like all the mirrors you've been making are such poor quality that the images in them are being distorted. What's even weirder is that it only happens sometimes...you should look into that. You're giving people a false sense of self-image and are contributing to poor self-esteem.

Sincerely,
Distored Reflection

Dear Belly,
No you are not pregnant! Stop looking like you are so people will stop asking me if I am! Don't you growl at me...

Sincerely,
Not-with-Child

Dear Peanut Butter Cups,
Are you SURE the package is right when it says you have THAT many grams of FAT?!

Sincerely,
Skeptical One

Dear Thighs,
I would really appreciate it if you could fight off the chocolate, chicken, juice, butter and heavily dressed salad that I ate last night. I'm got a bridesmaid's dress to fit into in a couple of weeks and I would appreciate it if you didn't look more prominent than my four boobs (thanks to the aforementioned useless control underwear). I'd also appreciate it if you could possibly send out a message to my metabolism and tell them to hurry their freakin' selves up and burn off all the fat that I consumed yesterday (and quite possibly will today). Thank you. I look forward to your reply.

Sincerely,
Expectant Weight Loser

WORKING OUT TO:

When I Grow Up - Pussycat Dolls

Day 11: Reality bites...

...and when it does, I usually bite back. Unfortunately, it's on a boston cream donut *groans* This week marks the upcoming visit of an unwanted visitor...

I wouldn't say that I was off the wagon again today, moreso than I...disregarded the wagon. I saw it driving on by and waved as I chomped on a drumstick.

Long weekends are hard. They're more fun than being at work and thinking that dieting is more fun. One less day in the office means that it's harder to force myself to drink water when I'm out and about doing things than when I'm sitting at my desk feeling my rear end spreading itself out in it's own little butt-groove in my office chair. It's even harder when your husband has decided to renovate the ENTIRE kitchen and rips out not only the hardwood floor (to tile), the counters (to tile and to make room for my brand spankin' new dishwasher - he got tired of me not doing the dishes! *LOL*) and the stove/oven (we got a countertop stovetop instead and will eventually get a built-in oven one of these days, it's not rush because I've lived here for almost two years and have probably used the oven once...to make interestingly shaped cupcakes for a bachelorette party...guess what the interesting shapes were...). We've had no way to cook any meals (besides our microwave plugged into the bathroom outlet...mmm..multitasking? *barf*) so we've been going out or inviting ourselves over to our families places. Besides that little french fry debacle yesterday, I've been keeping up with everything else.

Today, Bart and I had two poached eggs each. I used my new microwave egg cookers and they are AWESOME! Totally loving on those...for now I'll pretend that zapping my eggs using micro waves in thirty seconds is not at all disturbing. Had two pieces of toast and spread my poached eggs on them, sea salt and pepper and they were gone! Those will be breakfast tomorrow! After that we got busy with the kitchen (I am an EXCELLENT supervisor, lemme tell you. I supervised the renos AND got a book read and reviewed in that time as well!) and later on we went over to my aunt and uncle's place for a BBQ and fireworks (for those not pledging allegiance to a red maple leaf on your flag, today is Victoria Day = no work on a Monday! Good ol' Victoria...I raise a chicken drumstick to you as well!) The evening meal wasn't actually all that bad though...the chicken was done up on a rotisserie on my uncle's BBQ and it was DELICIOUS and I had a whole lot of SALAD and asparagus. CONFESSION: the salad was dressed with Rene's caesar dressing...and it wasn't the light kind *winces*. Which was probably why I was able to eat so much salad in the first place.

But whatevs! First long weekend with the new "diet" or goal to a better, healthier me and it's over and done with. Choices were made and the food consumed. I will not feel bad, but I will acknowledge that it wasn't the BEST of weekends and will hold myself accountable. I will make new goals for this week and will work to do better.

Tomorrow is back to work which means that I will be better able to control my consumption and water intake. Tomorrow's goal is to eat all three meals - especially breakfast and will have two healthy snacks in the morning and the afternoon. My goal is to return to my 'as much water as I can drink' goal which is roughly around 4 tall glasses of water from 8:30 am - 4:30 pm and I will get two 15-minute activities in (my trampoline-ing on morning and afternoon breaks). Tomorrow is also Tuesday which means Zumba class so there is an hour's worth of cardio. I will TRY very hard not to succumb to too many unnecessary water breaks and will vow to shake it like a polaroid picture.

Amen!

WORKING OUT TO:

Monkey Wrench - Foo Fighters